It’s not you, It’s me

Why Parents with Special Children Should Read This

by Nickky Faustine De Guzman
September 2, 2014

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Here’s a dare: Parents with special children should do their own ice bucket challenge to raise awareness—not about their kid’s disabilities—but among their own issues.

“Sometimes, it is easier to teach the special children than their parents. We always try to tell the parents ‘Don’t focus on the label’ because the minute you focus on it, it already limits the capacity of the child. We take the role of guidance counselors, too,” says Marisa Cojuangco, founder of A Child Can foundation, an early intervention program for kids with special needs.

The “A Child Can Foundation” deals not only with the issues of special children but also their parents who should also be aware and familiar with the condition of their child and and what they’re going through. Photo shows Marisa Cojuangco, founder of the A Child Can Foundation and program director Anna Romualdez.(Images by Rudy Liwanag)

Among the basic steps in enrolling in the program includes parenting talk. “We have to deal with the issues of the parents first. You have to address them on how to read their child. Certain habits have to change, too, considering that they are adults with established habits already. It’s all about reframing the parents’ mindset. If they are stuck with it, this is more paralyzing and debilitating,” adds program director Anna Romualdez.

Kids with disabilities including autism, Down Syndrome, attention deficit disorders, learning disabilities, global developmental delay, language delay, and also including those at risk of being diagnosed, are welcome to enroll in the program. These, however, are not “illnesses” but lifetime disabilities that need early intervention as soon as signs show up. “There’s no machine, no nothing, that can change the child to be normal again,” says Anna.

Both agreed though that parents now are luckier than ever before, thanks to the available centers that do intervention programs. But to be clear, intervention centers are not dumping areas. “We don’t like it that some parents treat us like we are a drop center, where you drop the kids and wish us good luck. The parents are still the key to the kids’ success. Even if they bring them here, they have to attend seminars and we let them transfer the skills to the parents on how to manage the behavior of a child. It is them reading and knowing their kids. After all, they are their first educators,” she adds.

Special kids need special attention and extra patience. “You have to break down things. Unlike normal kids who can infer, they take things literally. For example, it’s natural for us to go to the bathroom but for them, we have to break down things: Show them pictures and step by step directions. Their concept of language is different,” explains Marisa.

A Child Can Foundation’s early intervention program uses applied behavior analysis, play, and active learning experiences. Kids aged two to 11 years old attend the program three or five times a week, depending on their assessment. Programs are customized because their disabilities may be the same, but skills and adjustments differ from person to person.

Anna Romualdez

Marisa Cojuangco

To further raise awareness among parents also including teachers, doctors, and other professionals working with autism and other learning disabilities, the foundation, in partnership with the Philippine Association for Behavior Analysis, invites everyone in the “Autism: Managing the Whole Person” seminar on Sept. 6 at AIM Conference Center, Makati City.

“Our goal is simply not awareness. The awareness happens naturally after the kids are enrolled in an intervention program. When the children become successful at home and in the community, that’s where the awareness comes in,” says Anna.

Improvement becomes faster when the parents learn to accept the condition of the child. “But with parents not committed, the kids are backsliding, too. It really depends on the family,” Marisa says.

Still need proof? “She came in like a tornado in her dainty dress. She threw tantrums, she was unkempt,” narrates Marisa, “but this kid’s mom was dedicated and committed to her needs. You know what? She’s now enrolled in a regular class in an international school.”