No pair, don’t care

A no-nonsense guide on dealing with those singlehood feels

by Jacky Lynne A. Oiga and Nickky Faustine P. De Guzman
June 22, 2014 (updated)

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Here’s the thing, we don’t think anyone chooses to be single, it’s just a matter of a) no one likes you; b) you don’t like anyone, or c) both. But no matter what your reasons or circumstances are, they don’t really matter because singlehood is a blessing—you just don’t know it yet. Soon enough, you will know. For now, while the time (and feels) away with these self-help books and insightful singledom quotes.

I can say I’m quite choosy. I found someone whom I thought was ‘the one,’ Though it did not work, he raised the bar quite high. Nobody has ever

come close.— Cristina Raposa, blogger

Decide to be in a relationship when you see yourself with that person for the rest of your life. If not, what’s the purpose of being in one? I guess I haven’t found that person yet. —Janey Sandejas account executive

He’s Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo

Based on a popular episode of Sex and the City, this in-your-face book is a wakeup call for women. Greg and Liz know you’re a smart, beautiful, and funny, so don’t waste your time chasing after the wrong kind of man. You deserve someone better, someone who’s so, so into you.

I was cheated on by my boyfriend of six years. I decided it was way better to be single but happy than be in a relationship and be miserable

and paranoid. —Chuchie Ledesma, makeup artist

The last relationship I had was a long one. After that, I needed time to pick myself up. I needed to be happy with just being me. I wanted to rebuild relationships I put aside when I was still with my ex. —Renzelle Palma, travel writer

How to Find Your One True Love by Bo Sanchez

In Bo’s short but sweet self-help book, he divulges the eight steps to attract true love, the top 10 attraction secrets of a woman, and the number one attraction secret of a man. (How come a man only needs one?)

Getting married is like trading in the adoration of many for the sarcasm of one. —Mae West

I believe that ‘settling’ for just anyone who comes along just because one has been ‘single since birth’ or because everyone else’s getting engaged or married, or just to ‘experience’ having a boyfriend is unacceptable. —Lea Oiga, Neurology resident

Single: The Art of Being Satisfied, Fulfilled, and Independent by Judy Ford

This book packs a punch and speaks this universal truth: it’s okay to be single because everyone is single. Think about it. We are born single and “if we examine our situation more closely, we see that regardless of our relationship with others, we are still just one person.”

Have Him at Hello: Confessions from 1,000 Guys About What Makes Them Fall in Love… Or Never Call Back by Rachel Greenwald

Dubbed as the “Wife Maker,” Rachel Greenwald takes us through her fascinating 10-year research project on why guys call back one woman but not another. Here are unabashed answers and raw details every woman should read.

Young, wild, and free

by Nickky Faustine De Guzman
June 17, 2014

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She could pass as a beauty queen, thanks to her statuesque stand. But the 25-year-old Hotel and Restaurant Management student Elizabeth Supnet chooses the road less travelled by girly-girls. She opts for the rough road often traversed by daredevils—because Elizabeth is a skateboarder.

“Wala lang,” she says when asked why, of all sports, she chose skateboarding. “My friends influenced me and I thought it was cool, fun, and thrilling,” says the skateboarder newbie, who has only started riding a month ago. She adds that gender does not matter once you’re on the road skating and doing tricks. Apparently, there are girls who are into the sport, but men, still, are greater in number.

Images by Noel Pabalate

“It doesn’t mean that because you’re a girl you cannot do it,” she says, “as long as you have the guts. Basta feel mo siya gawin.” She says she’s ready for possible bruises and cuts and broken bones because it is part of the game.

Demetrio Cuevas, 21, meanwhile has been skateboarding for seven years here and abroad. He’s been injured one too many but says it does not stop him from doing daredevil stunts and tricks. But why do them in the first place? “I don’t know, just riding for the fun of it I guess,” says Demetrio, sporting a cap and baggy shirt and pants.

In the Philippines, board sports enthusiasts, like skateboarders, are considered part of the subculture. Like gangsters, punks, rockers, grunge, and emos, skateboarders are part of the subculture many traditional Filipinos stereotype and fail to understand. Many still thought that they are “rowdy, destructive, and pa-cool.”

“I don’t know. Do you think we’re cool?” Demetrio asks me. “As long as we’re not doing anything wrong against anyone then, we’re cool,” he says.

Last year, a viral video of a Makati police and a teenage skateboarder playing in Ayala Triangle drew mixed opinions among netizens. The video excerpt showed the skateboarder and the officer pushing each other. Another viral video, with over one million views, meanwhile, shows American wakeboarding—another type of board sport where a rider slides over the water—daredevil Brian Grubb gliding on the Banaue Rice Terraces. The video drew split views as well. Some said the stunt was disrespectful of nature; others meanwhile thought it was cool.

Just outside the Manila Bulletin office in Intramuros, a group of young skateboarders often gathered in the Walled City. The street arts, beside the less trafficked road, add an extra dash of punk to their daredevil rides. So far, no one has complained against the kids’ pastime.

GO GIRL! Skateboarder newbie Elizabeth Supnet Shows off her tricks.

As much as skateboards want to play anywhere, there are sweet spots for skating: in Heartbreak Hill Juan Luna UP Diliman, Kapitolyo Park, BGC, and Circuit Makati, among others have open terrains perfect for riders.

Just recently, youngsters and hipsters gathered at Circuit Makati to party the release of True To This movie screening celebrating the 23 years of America’s first boarding company, Volcom. The 40-minute video captures the energy and artistry of board riding in its purest sense.

“This movie is a tribute to the ‘anti-establishment movement’ philosophy we adhere, meaning, breaking the barriers of what people think is acceptable. We’re not rebellious, but by ‘establishment’ we mean the norms that the society force on people who are pressured to become someone accepted by the community,” says Volcom brand associate Mikey Punsalan.

He adds that skateboarders only want to express their personality and individuality.

“I don’t think that skateboarders are innately disruptive, it’s just that people don’t give them the chance. People think they are noisy but they promote an example of strong community and camaraderie,” he adds.

The sport, according to USAToday.com, started in early 1950s in California when surfers wanted to practice on land. The rest, as they say is history. In the Philippines, meanwhile, the activity may have started in the ‘80s. One of the pioneers of the sports, Willy Santos, was hailed as “one of the best street skaters during the dark early 90s” by Thrasher Magazine. While the history of this action-filled sport is blurry in the Philippine setting, in Banaue, Ifugaos boast of their wooden makeshift scooters, which they use to traverse the rocky road of the mountains. During ancient times, men race against each other while on board the scooter to set land conflicts and ownership. But then again, history set aside, it all boils down to individuality. As book author Jim Morrison says, “The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are.”

Books for free

Is he our version of the late George Whitman of Shakespeare & Co. in Paris? This humble Pinoy street library has books—and wisdom—to share.

by Nickky Faustine De Guzman
June 16, 2014

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It’s almost five in the afternoon. Hernando “Nanie” Guanlao waves to the students on their way home, calling them to come check his books. “Browse through my collection. I have notebooks and textbooks over there,” Nanie calls out.

In Nanie’s booklandia—his books are spilling out of his house and onto the busy street of San Andres in Makati—no one needs a library card. There’s no overdue fine or membership ID. The only rule he has here is that there is no rule.

“Anyone can come and go and read the books for free,” says Nanie, who pioneered the Reading Club ten years ago. If you forgot to return the borrowed books, go ahead, that’s fine. “It’s an honesty system. If you don’t return the books or forget to return them, just make sure you share the books. Give them to your friends,” explains Nanie.

PAY IT FORWARD Mang Nanie says he wants to share the gift of knowledge and instill the value of sharing through his book club. (Images by: Pinggot Zulueta )

His makeshift library is bursting with textbooks and literary materials that are donated by bookworms in exchange of the paperbacks they borrow.  Among the books available in the Reading Club are those by literary giants Federico Garcia Lorca, Philippa Gregory, Jodi Picoult, Paul Auster, and Cecily von Ziegesar.

“If this were a hospital, it would be the ICU. Here, I get to resurrect the abandoned and lifeless books,” says Nanie.

Soon, through word of mouth, people and organizations started visiting and donating books. Gadgets, Travel, and Mabuhay magazines would often donate their back issues. The Rotary Club, TV5, and National Bookstore are among his supporters. This is how he replenishes his books. Books and magazines and notebooks often overflow in his humble, one-bedroom dwelling.

This was how his Books for the Barrios project came to life. The excess books Nanie receives, he donates to far-flung communities. From Tabuk in Kalinga all the way to Tawi-Tawi, and even to the survivors of typhoons Pablo and Yolanda, his books have traveled far and wide. “This is my simple way of sharing the generosity of my donors. All I want is to achieve social literacy. Contrary to the belief that fewer people love to read, there are hungry readers out there,” says Nanie, a former accountant who turned his back from the trappings of life and decided to live simpler.

“I’ve had lucrative jobs—then it all became complicated. I told myself, ‘Life should be simple and easy, why am I in a complex world?’” From his readings of the iconic Italian educationist Maria Montessori including her The Secret of Childhood, Nanie decided that he could only find satisfaction once he reconnected with his inner child. Since children are selfless and always eager to learn, he put up his library.

Incidentally, Nanie’s generosity and dreams have inspired Billie. Nanie hands me a flyer—Ysobelle “Billie” Dantis Irabon’s “advertisement,” a  Powerpuff and Cookie Monster sketch inviting kids to join her Kids Can book drive project. The 10-year-old kid collects books in exchange of her homemade cookies. She then turns over the books to Nanie.

“It’s good to invest in kids because they believe in your deeds and dreams,” says Nanie. No matter how cliché, the book hero believes that the kids—and the books—are our future.

Happy feet

Three young Filipino dancers set to conquer the world stage this month talk about their inner battles and making it in international competitions.

by Nickky Faustine De Guzman
June 16, 2014

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It’s a little over 10 a.m., but Jemima Sanielle Reyes, Victor Maguad, and Monica Amanda Gana show up looking like they’ve just rolled out of bed. Apparently, the life of a ballerina starts at two in the afternoon—at least with this group of dancers from Ballet Philippines.

“Ballet isn’t as popular as sports like basketball and football here in the country,” Jemima, 19, starts. “Mas benta, mas masa ang modern, artista kasi ang sumasayaw. Ballet is a fine art, and it’s an intellectual craft. When you watch ballet, you have to think—so only a handful of people appreciate it.”

LEAP OF FATE Jemimah, Victor, and Monica will represent the country in two international ballet stilts in Mississippi and Bulgaria (Images by Rudy Liwanag)

And yet these kids practice with fervor for the people who take the time to watch a recital—each one is a world-class performance. This dedication and passion have propelled them forward, giving the dancers a chance to show off their skills at two international stilts in the world: the USA International Ballet Competition (IBC) in Jackson, Mississippi on June 14-29, and the International Ballet Competition in Varna, Bulgaria on June 15-30.

The IBC is a two-week Olympic-style competition for top young dancers across the globe, where Jemima and Victor will showcase their Black Swan, Aku, and Diana and Actaeon performances. Monica, meanwhile, will highlight Gamzatti in La Bayadere and Esmeralda in Varna Ballet Competition, the oldest ballet competition in the world.

Despite minimal support, the dancers are proud to represent the country. Philippine ballet, according to them, is at par with the rest of the world’s. They consider Japan, China, and Korea their biggest competitors. “They start training very early in China, and the government throws their support behind the dancers,” says Monica, who only started dancing when she was eight. “But we are not disheartened, because when Pinoys dance, it’s with heart. Hindi lang puro technical.”

Apart from the lack of support from the government and most Filipinos, a ballet dancer must also wage an inner war against his or her self.

“It is normal for any ballet dancer to feel burnt out from the everyday practice,” Victor, 21, who himself has given up on dancing one too many times, shares. “My mind says ‘Stop!’ but my body craves for it.” And so Victor, like many of his contemporaries, continues his intense love-hate affair with the art.

Victor shares that ballet dancers’ have short career spans. Their bodies get stiff and rigid once they reach a certain age. And international competitions only accept dancers 15-27 years old, a disconcerting fact because the dancers admit that greater opportunities thrive abroad.

“Before I entered college, I didn’t want to take performing arts because I was scared of my future. But my parents encouraged me. They said I can’t pursue something for money’s sake alone and that eventually, when I’m good enough, I’ll make a name for myself,” Jemima shares.

Besides, the dancers cannot see themselves doing anything else but dance. Save for Victor, who plans to venture into architecture when his career finally wanes. But for now he’s just enjoying the art he has loved for over 14 years. “Everyone can be a dancer, you can work it out if you want to as long as you have the passion for it, kung napipilitan ka lang, ‘wag na lang,” Victor says.

Jemima, meanwhile, ends with a statement that strikes a chord, “Media would be a big help [in promoting fine arts]. Everything that people love from pop culture to the arts are amplified by them. If only the media and the government emphasize the relevance of arts in Philippine culture then maybe more dancers like us will be inspired to embrace their crafts.”

Eat Like a Royal

Eat like royals

Here’s a chef, who has cooked for Queen Elizabeth II, and he has prepared a banquet for you.

by Nickky Faustine De Guzman
June 5, 2014

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Marco Polo in Ortigas is not yet fully operational, but it’s already a showcase of what we can look forward to. Its two-month-old restaurant Cucina celebrates all things bright and beautiful. Francis Libiran designed the uniform of the attendants and servers. The interiors’ woodwork, which evokes the Banaue Rice Terraces, reminiscent of Singapore’s Parkroyal Hotel lobby, is designed by emerging furniture artisan Jinggoy Buensuceso.

But Cucina’s greatest delight is the food, fit for royals.

ROYAL TREATMENT Counterclockwise from left: Chili crab, warm Thai beef salad, French mussels, Cucina interior, pan-fried duck liver with spring salad, Chef Benjamin Roy Rendell, warm rock lobster thermidor, and Cucina’s Asian and Oriental station.
(Images by Noel Pabalate)

Its executive chef Benjamin Roy Rendell, with his almost four decades of experience, has cooked for Queen Elizabeth II, various presidents like Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo, and prime ministers including former United Kingdom Prime Minister Edward Heath during state dinners.

He prepared lobster thermidor during Heath’s luncheon. And he will be making this creamy lobster dish sautéed with shallots and tarragon and infused with brandy and white wine available every Saturday in the kitchen of Cucina (pronounced ku-chi-na).

The rolled sea bass fillet, which he served for Her Royal Highness, is not available. Or, at least, not yet.

“We have no set menu, but our buffet has a wide selection. We want something recognizable on your plate,” say Chef.

Chef Ben is married to a Thai. Since Thais and Filipinos have almost the same palate, Chef says, what he has in store in Cucina are selections “closer to home.” There are a few Filipino food choices in the buffet, like pancit and sometimes adobo with balsamic vinegar, while every Wednesday there’s chicken inasal as well as pork barbecue with lemon, garlic, and soya with atchara and kropek on the side—but Filipino foodies do not seem to mind the mostly Continental and Asian offerings.

Besides the lobster thermidor and chicken inasal, it also offers five other permanent ala carte dishes available every day, which features the best of the best of Chef Ben and his team’s cooking expertise.

Chili crabs are on offer on Thursdays. Chinese chef Clifton Chianpian prepares artfully handcrafted dim sum and crabs, Cantonese-style. The only problem with his crabs, though, is it’s hard to get all the fatty, savory meat in every pincer. Request a crab clamp next time.

On Fridays, French mussels and French fries are served to showcase the finest imported mussels prepared in the age-old tradition of moules mariniere braised in herbs, garlic, dairy butter, Chablis wine, and beer for the extra kick. To cap off the weekend getaway, the Sunday offering highlights Filet of Beef Wellington (beouf en croute), coated with paste and wrapped in puff pastry. Weekdays are days for pan-fried duck liver with spring salad, as well as Thai beef salad with grilled US beef fillets mixed with Thai dressing and chili.

In Cucina, there are seven days, seven different selections, and seven reasons to stay, come back, and eat some more. And oh, singer Lorde says we can never be royals, but we beg to differ.

Books, Books, Books!

Chris Yam Daez

by Nickky Faustine De Guzman
June 2, 2014

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It’s a no brainer: Fully Booked’s PR manager Chris Yam Daez likes books. She’s in love with words and how, when they are intricately woven, become stories one won’t soon forget. “I started loving books as soon as I could read the alphabet,” says the 33-year-old. “I remember as a child, my mom would often scold me because it’s way past bedtime and my face is still buried in between the pages of a book.” The mom of two and Philippine School of Interior Design student says she grew up reading The Adventures of Tintin and Sweet Valley High. While she believes that fewer people like reading nowadays, “because there are a lot more distractions now compared to when we were kids, there were no internet or gadgets back then,” Fully Booked tries to encourage people to read by creating a reading community, that offers more than books.

 

(Images by Pinggot Zulueta)

All-time favorite : The Alchemist by Paolo Coelho

“I’ve read this book several times and no matter what point I am in life, I always learn or re-learn something. It resonated with me ever since I read it maybe 20 years ago.”

Book staples:  Kelly Hoppen: Design Master Class: How to Achieve the Home of Your Dreams, Dior Couture, some young adult series like The Hunger Games, and yoga books like The Four-Hour Body, among others.

“I love all kinds of books. It doesn’t matter what category because I always learn something new. I love cookbooks because I enjoy cooking in the weekends for my family. I buy several children’s books every month because my husband, Jaime, and I read to our kids every night.”

In her “To-Read” pile:  Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg, Deuxe by Dana Thomas, and Crazy Rich Asians by Kevin Kwan

On her bedside: Boucheron by Thomas Keller, Barefoot Contessa by Ina Garten, Fifty Shades of Chicken by FL Fowler, Bring up Geeks by Marybeth Hicks, Color Planning for Interiors by Margaret Portillo, and Momofku Milk Bar by Christina Tosi